Monday Motivation

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My Weekend Plans Have Been Made

Sometimes living in Wisconsin can feel life a little bit of a void. As a kid I didn’t have many friends into comics or Star Wars or wrestling. Getting to talk about pop culture things was rare. But now Taco Bell has just turned us into a cultural Mecca!! Kit Kat Quesadilla’s! Screw health. Screw my heart and screw diabetes! It is now my mission to track down this culinary masterpiece being tested in Wisconsin ! Viva WI

Monday Motivation

Fisher-Price Training Our Children To Overthrow Us

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CNN – The company announced on Wednesday the Think & Learn Smart Cycle, an exercise bike with a tablet holder tacked onto the handlebar. The bike, aimed at 3 to 6 year olds, lets kids interact with gaming apps while pedaling. The Smart Cycle ($150) comes with one free app and works with four others, including SpongeBob SquarePants and Shimmer and Shine apps ($4.99 each).

The included app features an age-appropriate curriculum based on math, science and social studies.

“They’re learning and mastering content as they pedal, fast or slow, forwards or backwards,” Amber Pietrobono, a spokeswoman with Fisher-Price, told CNNMoney. “It’s also how they level up in the games.”

People seem to really be on board with this idea. I for one see it for what it is. A plan to turn our children into superfit monsters ready to overthrow us at Fisher-Price’s whim. What parent is going to be able to deny their kid whatever Fisher-Price toy they wan’t after their kid has been basically becoming a tri-athlete for the last 5 months?

It’s a brilliant plan. Hypnotize the child with “games” on a screen, charge the parents for said games. When mom and dad no longer want buy new apps, child is activated Jason Bourne style to carry out the Fisher-Price mission.

No thank you.

Sorry son you get a stick and ball, go play outside.