Kill Em Kill Em Kill Em With Kindness ( The Florida Way)

FloridaBryan Stewart, 30, is accused of using the knife — with the word “kindness” written on it — to cut his neighbor after the neighbor came to the home because he was concerned about occupants in the house.

Sounds like someone is a Selena Gomez fan!

I’ll give this to Bryan, he’s a man of his word. He said he’ll kill em with kindness and he made sure he had kindness ready. I give him an A for creativity but a D for follow through.

You know Bryan was walking around his trailer just mumbling as he sharpied onto the knife. Mumbling about how he’ll teach those neighbors a lesson.

Some of this is on the neighbor. You could hear the guy mumbling and talking but you still knocked on the door. Bad bad call dude. Maybe next time just let it be.

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Walmart Is Always Walmart

Wichita FallsEmployees requested officers to ban a woman from the local Walmart store after she reportedly had been drinking wine from a Pringles can for several hours while riding on an electric cart.

The commitment by this woman is amazing. It’s pure perfection. At 6:30 am you’re either coming down from wild night of drinking or just starting a wild day of drinking. I also admire her thought process. You know she poured that wine into the Pringle’s can thinking she was fooling everyone, no way the cops are getting her for open container.

Worst Christmas Tree Ever? Worst Christmas Tree Ever.

VirginiaMore than 100 praying mantises hatched from an egg case hidden under the branches of the Christmas tree Springfield resident Molly Kreuze bought for the holiday season. The bugs are moving freely through the house, “crawling on the walls, crawling on the ceilings,” Kreuze told the station, adding that they gravitate toward light. Video taken by WJLA showed the insects hanging from the ceiling and crawling on the windows.

Burn it. Just burn it to the ground now before it’s too late. This is plague punishment for something this lady did and that city needs to act now.

A reasonable person would want to just destroy these monsters.

Instead of vacuuming them up, Kreuze has been using an envelope and shoe box to store the mantises.

Oh well that makes sense. It’s easier to destroy them once they’ve all been captured.

Kreuze has been feeding them fruit flies and is “hoping to re-gift them,” she said.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Rest Easy Everyone “Doo-Doo Butt” Has Been Captured

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Baltimore In a joint effort between the Baltimore Police Department, the Southwestern Regional Police Department in York County, Pennsylvania, and the U.S. Marshals, a man identified as Anthony “Doo-Doo Butt” Ward was arrested in connection with a shooting that stemmed from a road rage incident.

Oh man, nick names can suck. I mean there’s always a story behind them. I doubt this is one of those ironic nicknames like calling a big person tiny. Anthony did something. Something bad, and honestly it’s all I want to know.

This proves what we have always known though, you just hide a doo-doo butt for long.

 

 

 

Selfies Are Now Dead

Daily MailSome might argue she should have been holding her pregnant sister’s hand. But for Kat Armendariz, from El Paso in Texas, it was a picture opportunity she could not resist. The young woman whipped out her phone as her sister lay in a hospital bed in the background screaming out in pain and in the midst of labour – and took a selfie!

Alright kids let’s pack it up. It was a good run. Poor Kat doesn’t even know the rage that is going to rain down on her. You don’t mess with a pregnant woman and you sure as hell don’t mess with a woman in labour. Aunt Kat is going to spend the rest of her life eating at the kids table. RIP Kat enjoy that selfie.