Real Life Cartman Is The Worst

https://vid.me/cZ49

Screw this kid. Really you couldn’t be more entitled. He’s clearly broken his mother down with years of trash behavior.  The smug look. The grating voice. This is the kid that will be going to high school parties 3 years after he graduates asking girls if they wanna see his basement room. Actually he will grow up to be this:


Slightly worse than Cartman. The parents need to grow some balls and destroy this kids world. Walk that PS4 out to the driveway and smash it. 

Fisher-Price Training Our Children To Overthrow Us

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CNN – The company announced on Wednesday the Think & Learn Smart Cycle, an exercise bike with a tablet holder tacked onto the handlebar. The bike, aimed at 3 to 6 year olds, lets kids interact with gaming apps while pedaling. The Smart Cycle ($150) comes with one free app and works with four others, including SpongeBob SquarePants and Shimmer and Shine apps ($4.99 each).

The included app features an age-appropriate curriculum based on math, science and social studies.

“They’re learning and mastering content as they pedal, fast or slow, forwards or backwards,” Amber Pietrobono, a spokeswoman with Fisher-Price, told CNNMoney. “It’s also how they level up in the games.”

People seem to really be on board with this idea. I for one see it for what it is. A plan to turn our children into superfit monsters ready to overthrow us at Fisher-Price’s whim. What parent is going to be able to deny their kid whatever Fisher-Price toy they wan’t after their kid has been basically becoming a tri-athlete for the last 5 months?

It’s a brilliant plan. Hypnotize the child with “games” on a screen, charge the parents for said games. When mom and dad no longer want buy new apps, child is activated Jason Bourne style to carry out the Fisher-Price mission.

No thank you.

Sorry son you get a stick and ball, go play outside.