Typically I let these posts stand alone. Today is different. Being a father and husband can be filled with great highs and deep lows. Today was possibly my lowest low. And it’s at these times where I can struggle to find help, meaning and answers. I sit alone in the dark, everyone else asleep. Left to my own thoughts, worries and fears. It’s at these times , after a bad day , that the worst of the worst thoughts will begin to creep in. Self doubt. Self hate. Self harm. It’s times I may resent those around me as they sleep and I struggle. Trying to shoulder too many burdens. It’s now I ask if I’m loving him right. If it’s all worth it. Do I even know how to raise him, love him, care for him. I really don’t know. I just know he deserves my best. If any other dads are struggling just know you are not alone.
Adam West was the first live action Batman that I can remember seeing. Up until then it had been Justice League and Scooby Doo crossover cartoons. Although the show was long over by the time I started watching it left a undeniable imprint on my DNA. I think most fans of the show really gravitated towards the joker. No surprise there. My favorite episodes though were the riddler episodes. West’s Batman made solving the most ridiculous riddles a breeze. West seemed really have some disdain for the role after the series ended. He was always looked at as that goofy Batman. It was good to hear late in life he came back around to really embrace that role and past. For me Adam West will always be The Batman.
Daily Mail – The first attempts to bring people back from the dead are slated to start this year.
Bioquark, a Philadelphia-based company, announced in late 2016 that they believe brain death is not ‘irreversible’.
So right off the bat the fact that they are tucking this away in some Latin America country is a big red flag. Really let’s just save a step here and start eating each other. Accompany trying to this is like John Connor getting a job at Cyberdine Systems and building a robot. I guess it’s time to just pack up the bunker because as a society I guess we’ve decided to help the whole self destruct process along. I guess the run went on as long as we could have expected. It’s really like they’ve never seen a single movie that tries this. There’s gonna be zombies or demons or zombie demons everywhere.
There comes a time when men and women become too relaxed, or maybe just complacent. For me my job has overtaken my life and my worries. I set out to start this blog as fun thing to do and maybe connect with others like myself. Yet I never make time for it. instead I focus on things that aren’t as important. I offer up the follow excerpt and maybe something to help myself and those out there looking for a change.
David Deida – The Way Of The Superior Man
Pick an area of your life, perhaps your intimate relationship, your career, your relationship with your children, or your spiritual practice. For instance, you are currently doing something to earn a living.
Where do your fears stop you from making a larger contribution to mankind, from earning a higher income, or from earning money in a more creative and enjoyable way? If you were absolutely fearless, would you be earning a living in exactly the sameway as you are now? Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears.
Have you lost touch with the fears that are limiting and shaping your income and style of livelihood? If you have deluded yourself and feel that you are not afraid, then you are lying to yourself.
All men are afraid, unless they are perfectly free. If you cannot admit this, you are pretending to yourself, and to others. Your friends will feel your fear, even if you do not. Thus, they will lose trust in you, knowing you are deluding yourself, lying to yourself, and are therefore likely to lie to them, consciously or unconsciously.
Or, perhaps you are very aware of your fears: your fear to take risks, your fear of failing, or your fear of succeeding. Perhaps you are comfortable with your life, and you fear the lifestyle change that might accompany a change in career, even though the new career will be closer to what you really want to do with your life. Some men fear the feeling of fear and therefore don’t even approach their edge.
They choose a job they know they can do well and easily, and don’t even approach the fullest giving of their gift. Their lives are relatively secure and comfortable, but dead. They lack the aliveness, the depth, and the inspirational energy that is the sign of a man living at his edge. If you are this kind of man who is hanging back, working hard perhaps, but not at your real edge, other men will not be able to trust that you can and will help them live at their edge and give their fullest gift.
As an experiment, describe your edge with respect to your career out loud to yourself. Say something like, “I know I could be earning more money, but I am too lazy to put in the extra hours it would take. I know that I could give more of my true gift, but I am afraid that I may not succeed, and then I will be a penniless failure. I’ve spent 15 years developing my career, and I’m afraid to let go of it and start fresh, even though I know that I spend most of my life doing things I have no real interest in doing. I could be making money in more creative ways, but I spend too much time watching TV rather than being creative.”
Honor your edge. Honor your choices. Be honest with yourself about them. Be honest with your friends about them. A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn’t aware of his fear. And a fearful man who still leans into his fear, living at his edge and putting his gift out from there, is more trustworthy and more inspirational than a fearful man who hangs back in the comfort zone, unwilling to even experience his fear on a day to day level.
A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them. Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.